A CLOWN WITH AN AVOCADO, COLLEGE AND A TRANSITION
Today, I noticed that the avocados at the grocery store are a pretty good buy, five avocados for five dollars. That's cheaper than they have been. In the past, I would load up on the avocados at this price. But I don't eat a lot of avocados. I would always buy avocados because my daughter, Grace, liked them. Sometimes, she would have avocado toast. But mostly, she would use them for guacamole. She would cut the avocado and add garlic and other items to make delicious guacamole. She was good at this. It became one of her signature "go-to" cooking items.
What's changed is that Grace is in college at Oberlin, Ohio. She started her first year of college just a few days ago. Grace doesn't live at home with her parents anymore. Our household has lost its guacamole maker. So, should I get the avocados? Even if Grace is not here to make guacamole? I stood in the fresh produce department of the grocery store, holding an avocado while I thought. I was a plainclothes clown, not knowing what to do. Should I buy the avocado? Should I put the avocado down and walk away?
My wife and I have some adjustments to make. We are now empty-nesters. We spent the last 18 years nurturing, loving, and caring for our guacamole maker. She left the house to start the next chapter of her life. This change will be challenging for us. Even when you know exactly when it would happen and exactly how it would happen. It's challenging. So much effort was spent on our child, getting her fed. Making sure school was going well and driving her to softball practice and games, then going to multi-day softball events that required long hours of travel. We did this because it was something that Grace wanted to do. She likes turning avocados into guacamole, and she enjoys playing softball. She likes hanging out with her teammates and winning games when she and her team play well. Plus, softball has taught her the important lesson that you don't always win. Sometimes, you have to "take the L," learn from it, and do better next time.
A few days ago, Grace was making her transition to being a college student. The family was at Oberlin College, sitting in a new student orientation. This orientation aimed to prepare the first- year students for their college life. The speakers were professors from Oberlin College. Here's the advice they gave the first-year college students.
Don't be afraid to fail. Take on new challenges, try things you haven't tried before, and don't be afraid to fail when you do it. In fact, fail more often, then try again and learn from the experience.
Do self-care. Make sure that you take care of yourself. Get the rest you need. Get the exercise you need. Take the time you need to prepare. Take care of yourself so that when you need to act, you will be ready to do the task.
Learn to communicate well. Cultivate the ability to write, speak, and communicate well. This will help you form your ideas and share them.
Say, "Tell me more". When you feel stuck in a situation and don't know what to do, use these words to get unstuck, "Tell me more ."You can always ask questions and get more information to help you when you are stuck.
Each professor took the time to explain their points in detail. As I heard them, I thought, I need this advice in my life. This presentation was meant for first-year college students. But each gave me information I needed, things I could use in my clown work, and my new role as an empty nester.
I looked over at Grace as the professors talked. It looked like she was processing what they were saying. Looking at her, I imagined Grace applying this advice to her life. I thought, what questions will she ask? How will she fail? What will she learn from those failures? When she communicates, how will she do it, and what new things will she say? How will she practice self-care? Who will speak when she says, "Tell me more"? All of these questions are yet to be answered.
Like turning avocados into guacamole, she will take what she has, what she was given, and what she will find to make her own creation. I'm excited to see what happens.
I bought a few of the avocados at the grocery store. Soon, I'll be making guac and thinking of my daughter.