I will not go quietly.

Clowns are known for not following the rules. It's one of the things we expect from clowns. Following this tradition is something we do in the hospital constantly. As medical clowns, we take the medical aspects of our work seriously. We are trained to function in the hospital as we do our work. That said, we are still clowns. We still find some norms to break as we follow medical regulations.

At my most recent visit to the hospital, dr tiny and I finished our check-in with the charge nurse in the emergency department. The nurse suggested we see a teenage girl who was a psych patient. This patient had a staff person who was there to monitor them. It was a teenage girl. At least, that's what the charge nurse said. When we looked into the room, we saw someone sitting in the bed. However, a hospital sheet covered this person as they sat in the middle of the bed with their legs crossed. The body language spoke volumes. It was the sitting posture of a defiant teen saying, "Leave me alone!!"

dr. tiny and I asked the medical person at the door how the patient was doing. The staff person said the patient was doing ok. She noted the leave me alone vibe the patient had. She said we could try to see her. With that, dr tiny and I gently tapped on the sliding glass door to let the patient know we were there. We could not enter her room or let the patient leave the room for medical reasons. So… dr tiny and I stood at the glass door with the staff person while the patient sat on her the bed. Eventually, the teen removed the hospital sheet and slowly looked up. It took her a few seconds to process the fact that she was looking at two clowns standing outside her hospital room. She began to smile.

dr. tiny and I performed a magic trick for the patient and her staff. The trick was a test. Each time, the patient got the test correct. However, the staff person always got the test wrong. This pattern continued with the teen smiling and laughing more each time she got it right. The staff person looked on in amazement as she kept trying to get it right. However, each time she tried, she chuckled and looked on in wonder as she got it wrong yet again. When we left, the patient moved out of her bed and closer to us as she stood on the other side of the glass sliding door. She had a massive smile on her face. The staff person at her door exhaled with a sigh and laughed as she said, "I needed that!"

Each time I have an encounter with a patient, family member, or staff person from the hospital. I'm keenly aware of the impact we could have. At first glance, it's easy to see our role as entertainment. This is true. Making people laugh is always one of the first things we can do for our audience. However, I see our role as more transformational. Each time we perform for our audience in the hospital, I see that performance as an opportunity of presenting a new possibility. At the core of that performance is the chance to transform something ordinary into something seemingly impossible and extraordinary.

I want to present the possibility of a new reality, to plant a seed that can grow into something fantastical. Yes, the patient may be sick. However, within that sickness is still a possibility of laughter, of joy, the glimmer of hope and expectation. Something extraordinary can happen at any moment. The reality of the patient's condition can mirror this same dynamic. Taking what may seem helpless, hopeless, or tragic into something extraordinary.

As a clown, I want to break the rules of the ordinary and open a door into something fantastical.